I lack words

I lack words but they don't lack me I pull the strings so tightly knit But no pattern appears What are we even searching for the map seems to evolve into patches no seam can sow into place My words are not my own try to sit on them I cant wait for this to end I thought I saw you runing Around the corner burning bills not of your making I wish I was a toast on your lips A snack again But I got burned do yOU HAVE A MATCH My love is only fire could you please say please I cant my wheels fell off and yet you keep on pushing me you cut my name on your face can we call me something elastic Im all into sustainability if that means constant reruns and judging myself from afar you forget that I eat pussy like a bulldog eating oatmeal I try to forget your shoe size its not easy but Im getting there Last week I forgot the colour of your pubic hairs Cant you at least let me have that Today is my birthday and its not even Monday I wish I could forget you more quickly Like a tree uprooted My crown upside down A stone in my mouth you placed it there Fingers ache to make you undone Words slip Sounds of no concern surround me A path to manliness requires my action Slaughter the sheep cut the wood plow the dirt and I can be a man finally someone to be trusted Im 51 and words are still just sounds vibrations So I utter more and more A wheel is turning and somewhere a cap flyes of a bald skull I know Ill never see you again but seeing was never our thing was it? I was never more than a glitch In a system youve left behind 4 versions ago Somehow the harddisk we shared is still here between my fingers yet completly inaccessible I’ve even forgotten the handshakes There is a sharpness drifting I come undone But thats no news to you In fact the picture of me lies burried beneath the swollen tenderness A cabel strethes but cant quite connect So we live in silence your footrprints cover my dreams I call you but you dont even care to hang up Not yet you wisper what would my boyfriend think? who care's? you never seemed to care a smear of you're glow got smeared beneath a point of no return A damn broke And I damn your name 28/10